


now i gotta get to rock bottom

by bellonaz



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Gen, High Heels, Isle of the Lost (Disney), Punching, jay teaches evie how to punch someone, theres a base for malvie, theyre dangerous.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 20:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12490652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellonaz/pseuds/bellonaz
Summary: Jay’s a top-dog in these parts, and it’s not because of parentage.Everyonehas some scary parent in these parts. But Jay’s a top-dog because he’s threatening and strong and knows how to throw a punch.Evie, however, does not know how to throw a punch. All she knows is how to put makeup on, and there’s nothing really threatening about waving a brush around.“You wanna teach Princess Blueberry how to fight?”Jay teaches Evie how to punch someone. Evie takes this knowledge, and punts her heel at someone’s head.





	now i gotta get to rock bottom

**Author's Note:**

> jay & evie's friendship deserves some more content and i'm here to deliver.
> 
> uhh tw for minor harassment? evie gets scooped but the description's not graphic and the dude who scooped her Suffers so. its gucci.

Jay has to admit, he and Evie are kind of similar. Not in the sense of  _ disposition,  _ because Evie is soft where Jay is hard and she is kinder where he is not. She grew up to be a princess of some kingdom, leaching herself on a proper prince with a proper castle so she can marry him and take his riches. Jay grew up to be a prince of thieves, quick and silent as he snatches gold and lamps and textiles for his father’s shop.

But they are both royalty in their own kind of way. They’re both also devilishly attractive. Jay’s not really into girls all that much, he prefers boys over girls, but he can still rock with them if he’s in the mood. But even ignoring that, Evie is just objectively good looking. She’s supposed to be in the running for being the Fairest of them All, of  _ course  _ she knows how to make herself look gorgeous and all that. But they’re also different. Jay’s a top-dog in these parts, and it’s not because of parentage.  _ Everyone  _ has some scary parent in these parts. But Jay’s a top-dog because he’s threatening and strong and knows how to throw a punch.

Evie, however, does not know how to throw a punch. All she knows is how to put makeup on, and there’s nothing really threatening about waving a brush around.

“You wanna teach Princess Blueberry how to fight?” Mal snorts, punching him roughly when he suggests the idea.

Jay frowns. “Hey! It’s like, a kinship. Of sorts. Solidarity, maybe. Us pretty people have to stick together, annoying or not. Besides, it’s kind of… troubling, seeing the way she fixes makeup whenever someone punches her in the face. Knowing her mom, it probably gets her in trouble. And I know I’m not supposed to care and all, but like, we  _ all  _ have shitty parents. No need to make the one with a less shitty, but still shitty, parent get in more trouble. Where else will we go when Harriet floods the hideout?”

Mal considers this. “Fine.”

 

Princess Blueberry looks kind of nervous when Jay tells her to meet him in Hell Hall. To be fair, the girl’s been castle-schooled most of her life, and according to Carlos, he’s her only friend from before then. But, nothing is fair on the Isle so she just better be there.

Lo and behold, she is.

“Hiya, Princess Blueberry,” Jay greets, bowing mockingly before sending her a grin. 

“Jay,” she responds, arms crossed and eyes squinting as if looking him over for flaws. In the clothes sense. “Why am I here again?”

“I wanted to show you how to throw a punch,” he says, stepping closer and grabbing a strand of Evie’s blue hair. “‘Cause like, you get picked on  _ a lot  _ for not being real violent like the rest of us. If people knew you knew how to hit, they’d pick on you less.”

Evie sniffs. “Just because I’m not looking for world domination doesn’t mean I don’t know how to fight! I’ll have you know I’m  _ very  _ good at fencing.”

Jay rolls his eyes. “We’re not  _ fencing,  _ I’m teaching you hand-to-hand. Fencing comes in handy if you’re taking on Uma and her crew. By the way, speaking of her crew, Gil told me to tell you that he heard CJ wants to ask you out on a date, or whatever. Don’t take my word on it. Don’t ask her, just wait.” It’s a lie, Mal told Jay to say something along the lines of this to see Evie’s reaction. Jay thinks it’s  _ hilarious,  _ because Mal’s totally in deep and she doesn’t even seem to know it.

“CJ?” Evie asks, eyes widening. “I-I—” She takes a deep breath. “I mean, a girl. Is interested in me. I didn’t know…” Her eyes start to well up. “A girl  _ likes  _ me? This is… the best day… of my life…”

Jay’s gaping. “Uh…” He moves to pat her hair awkwardly. “So you’re a lesbian?”

Evie snaps her head up, wiping at her eyes without damaging her makeup. “I-I don’t know!” she cries. “I mean, Mother wants me to marry a prince. I  _ want,”  _ she purses her lips, conflicted. “I  _ want  _ to marry a prince. Yeah. I… I can date men. That’s fine.”

In his head, Jay notes  _ totally a lesbian but scared of her mother so she’s adamant on Not Being Gay. _

“Okay!” Jay claps his hands. “I’m going to teach you how to punch the shit outta someone. Or at least, punch back. First things first,” Jay doesn’t get into position. He grabs Evie’s hand and clenches her fist. “You gotta make sure your thumb is on the outside of the fist. Otherwise, you could break it. And, as you noticed, the Isle doesn’t exactly have access to hospitals. So, thumb is on the outside.”

“Thumb on the outside,” Evie repeats, taking her hand away from Jay and clenching both fists, thumbs on the sides of her other fingers rather than resting upon them.

“No, no!” Jay interrupts. “You can still break your thumb if your finger is like that. Your thumb has to be bent over the bridge your other fingers made when you made the fist.”

Evie adjusts her thumb, now the fist the was in position. “Like this?” She asks, unsurely. Jay nods. 

“Okay, when you go for the hit, you don’t hit with the bridge of your fingers,” he says, swinging at the air. Evie flinches, but nods. “You hit with your  _ knuckles.  _ Specifically the ones on your index and middle finger. You have to, kinda, tilt your wrist down in order to get it right. From what I’ve noticed, it actually hits harder when it’s like this anyway, so…”

She nods slowly, processing this information. She makes a wobbly jab, but it’s positioned correctly so he grins at her. 

They go through this for another fifteen minutes, and Jay teaches her how to stand, how to actually  _ throw  _ the punch, and where it’s smart to hit someone when you’re punching them in the face. 

“You don’t wanna hit someone where there’s bone,” he explains. “The skull is all about protecting your mushy organs, so it’s tough as Hell. Hit someone’s face wrong, and instead of breaking their jaw you’re gonna be breaking your own hand.”

Evie takes this all in stride, and after two more hours, Jay has her hitting a makeshift punching bag filled with sand. 

“You’re doing pretty well,” he praises. “I didn’t expect Princess Blueberry to pick up on fighting quickly.”

She rolls her eyes. “I may not be as villainous or violent as you or Mal, but I still have mischief and evil in my blood. Long live evil, you know? I  _ do  _ live by that mantra, the very same as you.”

Jay laughs. “The Evil Queen wasn’t big on fighting, either. She let an apple do that for her.” Jay may be a bit of hypocrite, because his own dad manipulated his way to the top before he fell instead of fighting, but it’s okay.

“Well, I’m not my mother!” Evie snaps, before looking down at her dying grass and jabbing at the punching bag. “I’m never going to be my mother,” she says softly.

Uh oh. Sore spot. Sad spot. Emotions…!

“Hey, hey,” Jay says, trying to placate Evie without upsetting her more. “Didn’t mean to make you mad. Or sad. Or whatever. Smad?”

Evie blinks. “...Smad?”

“Smad!” Jay says. “Y’know… sad and mad. Combined. Smad.”

“I…” Evie trails off, before lips quirking in a smile. “Thanks, Jay. I should head home, before Mother gets angry. I appreciate you teaching me how to punch someone. Hopefully it comes in handy.”

 

Jay is leaning against his locker, telling Mal all about Weird Science when Harriet threw a hook at the chalkboard when a hoard of students are running down the halls, hooting and hollering.

“You did  _ not!”  _

Mal stifles a laugh. “Is that Princess Blueberry?”

Jay turns to see Anthony Tremaine running down the hall, eyes wide as he grins and cheeks flushed. “Jay,” Anthony says breathily. “I just scooped Evie.”

...What.

“You  _ what!?”  _ Mal yells. “You  _ scooped _ her?”

Anthony nods. “She was talking to the twitchy one, and I just. Ran, scooped her boob, and—” Anthony’s cut off with a sharp yell before his forehead hits the lockers forcefully, and he’s out like a light.

Jay bends over Anthony’s knocked out body when he notices the blue heel knotted in his hair. A snort escapes Jay’s throat. “Mal,” Jay says, tugging her shirt. “Look at what Princess Blueberry threw at Anthony.”

Mal strains her head, and blinks. “A heel. Princess Blueberry threw a  _ heel  _ at Anthony Tremaine’s head.” She pauses. “Alright. Sure. Yo, Evie!” Mal shouts. Evie looks very upset when she stalks over, and very angrily yanks her heel out of Anthony’s hair, but she doesn’t tug any hair out. 

“Yes?” Evie asks, putting the shoe back on her foot.

“Congrats, you’ve been initiated,” Mal says. “You can now consider yourself a my not-friend.”

Evie tilts her head. “Because I threw my shoe at Anthony?”

Mal nods solemnly. “Because you threw your shoe at Anthony.”

A smile grows on Evie’s lips. “I was going to punch him, ‘cause Jay taught me how to do that the other day,” she says quietly. “But Anthony is  _ so  _ thickheaded, no matter where I hit him I probably would’ve broken my hand. So I settled on my shoes. I have  _ so many  _ pairs that I made all by myself, so it would’ve been okay if it broke.”

Jay smiles. 

It seems Evie  _ did  _ know to fight after all.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed. title came from hard times by paramore. funky depression!! fits my aesthetic.


End file.
